Clown

//A dead body in a small town has brought two federal agents out to investigate: Charlie, a newbie, and Renata, a veteran. They're searching the area, which includes a nearby circus - and one very disagreeable clown.// (set: $hostile to 0)(set: $clown to false)(set: $body to 0)(set: $makeup to false) [[Play the newbie, Charlie->CHARLIE START]] [[Play the veteran, Renata->RENATA START]]

''Clown'': Well, well, well! If it ain’t the fuzz. Heard you punks been knockin' around the area. ''Clown'': Didn't think they'd send someone barely outta short pants, though. Bureau recruiting outta elementary schools these days? * [[Easy. You've got a pretty hostile attitude. ->CHARLIE HOSTILE]] * [[So what's your deal, clown? ...Heh. Always wanted to say that. ->CHARLIE CLOWN]] * [[Heard you might have something to do with the body that was found. ->CHARLIE BODY]] * [[Think you've got enough makeup on? ->CHARLIE MAKEUP]] * [[Don't go anywhere. I've got my eye on you. ->CHARLIE DONE]]

''Clown'': Well, well, well! If it ain’t the fuzz. Heard you punks been knockin' around the area. ''Clown'': So spit out what you want already, pantsuit. * [[Watch your tone. I don't deal well with hostility.->RENATA HOSTILE1]] * [[So what's your story?->RENATA CLOWN]] * [[You know anything about the body that was found?->RENATA BODY]] * [[Certainly piled on the makeup, didn't you?->RENATA MAKEUP]] * [[I might have some more questions later - stick around.->RENATA DONE]]

(set: $hostile to 1)''Clown'': Ooh, hostile. A hostile suspect! Hostile to that outfit, maybe. Did you get that off the “Baby’s First Federal Agent” rack? Or did your mom put that together for you? ''Clown'': You couldn’t come off as any greener if you glued moss to your face. ''Clown'': ...Tsk. Not my best. Ah, screw it. [[Continue...->CHARLIE MAIN]]

(set: $clown to true)''Clown'': Looky here, what delight. I must have just made your week, huh kid? Such joy, such rapture, to bring a smile to the face of a child! ''Clown'': Just kidding. I was a clown, insulting people was my bit. I was damn good at it once and now that's over, and I live here. ''Clown'': Ta-daaaa. [[Continue...->CHARLIE MAIN]]

(set: $body to 1)''Clown'': Boy oh boy, and I bet I know who you heard that from. ''Clown'': I'll spell this out for you: I get that I'm creepy. But I'm no killer. [[Continue...->CHARLIE MAIN]]

(set: $makeup to true)''Clown'': Did you want to borrow some? Maybe just the lipstick. ''Clown'': It'll leave a nice kiss-print on the butts of your superiors. [[Continue...->CHARLIE MAIN]]

''Clown'': Your eye? On me? GASP! I better not do anything terrible, like jaywalk, or litter! Heavens! ''Clown'': ...what a wipe. [[Back to beginning ->START]]

(set: $clown to true)''Clown'': Oh, you know, just a journeyman felter. Making gorgeous things out of felt. ''Clown'': Just felting it up all over the place, left and right... ''Clown'': ...I'm a frickin clown, the heck do you think I am? Jeez. My comedy act was a hit and now it's not, and I live here. ''Clown'': The end. [[Continue...->RENATA MAIN]]

(set: $body to 1)''Clown'': Why yes, I do! I heard... ''Clown'': ...It was DEAD! ''Clown'': What do you want from me? I'm a clown, not a killer. Back off. [[Continue...->RENATA MAIN]]

(set: $makeup to true)''Clown'': Sweetie, I'm just all out of makeup remover! ''Clown'': I'd ask if you could lend me some, but I don't want your cooties. [[Continue...->RENATA MAIN]]

''Clown'': Oh dear, my social schedule! I shall have to cancel that river cruise, and my trip to Charleston, oh landsakes, what shall I do. ''Clown'': ...jerk. [[Back to beginning ->START]]

''Clown'': And? {(if:$hostile is 0)[[[Easy. You've got a pretty hostile attitude. ->CHARLIE HOSTILE]] ] (if: $clown is false)[[[So what's your deal, clown? ...Heh. Always wanted to say that. ->CHARLIE CLOWN]] ] (if: $body is 0)[[[Heard you might have something to do with the body that was found. ->CHARLIE BODY]] ] (if: $body is 1)[[[Any more you can tell me about that dead body? ->CHARLIE BODY2]] ] (if: $body is 2)[[[Hear anything more about the murder? ->CHARLIE BODY3]] ] (if: $makeup is false)[[[Think you've got enough makeup on? ->CHARLIE MAKEUP]] ] [[Don't go anywhere. I've got my eye on you. ->CHARLIE DONE]]}

(set: $body to 2)''Clown'': I just know it showed up and everyone lost their minds. ''Clown'': I mean, I get that. Murder's bad. But it's got nothin' to do with me. [[Continue...->CHARLIE MAIN]]

(set: $body to 3)''Clown'': Not without my lawyer present, skippy. I know how this works. [[Continue...->CHARLIE MAIN]]

''Clown'': Hurry up, lady. {(if:$hostile is 0)[[[Watch your tone. I don't deal well with hostility. ->RENATA HOSTILE1]] ] (if:$hostile is 1)[[[I see you're set on being difficult. ->RENATA HOSTILE2]] ] (if: $clown is false)[[[What's your story? ->RENATA CLOWN]] ] (if: $body is 0)[[[Heard you might have something to do with the body that was found. ->RENATA BODY]] ] (if: $body is 1)[[[If you know any more about the dead body, you need to tell me. ->RENATA BODY2]] ] (if: $body is 2)[[[Hear anything more about the murder? ->RENATA BODY3]] ] (if: $makeup is false)[[[Think you've got enough makeup on? ->RENATA MAKEUP]] ] [[I might have more questions later. Stick around. ->RENATA DONE]]}

(set: $hostile to 1)''Clown'': Hostile? Me? It takes one to know one, lady. ''Clown'': Wish I had a drink I needed to keep cold - that stare of yours would do wonders. ''Clown'': ...Damn, my delivery’s getting rusty. [[Continue...->RENATA MAIN]]

(set: $hostile to 2)''Clown'': Don't even talk to me about difficult. I'm an expert on difficult. I'm a recognized authority on Difficult. I'm writing a book about Difficult. ''Clown'': My mailing address isn't the circus, it's Difficult... Town. ''Clown'': Ugh, that one got away from me. Whatever, who cares. [[Continue...->RENATA MAIN]]

(set: $body to 2)''Clown'': Well, what you'll get from me is nothing. ''Clown'': And then? Some more nothing! ''Clown'': Ain't you a lucky so-and-so. [[Continue...->RENATA MAIN]]

(set: $body to 3)''Clown'': Not without my lawyer present, lady. I know how this works. [[Continue...->RENATA MAIN]]